Now
that we have finished NFTU, I can say that is it one of the best books I have
read during my high school career. Dostoyevsky is truly an amazing author. Not
only did he manage to reveal our most hidden thoughts, desires and tendencies
in a limited amount of space, but the fact that he had this kind of
understanding of human behavior when the book was written in the 1860’s. I am
happy I read this book and I would definitely recommend it to others. The level
of depth and significance is undeniable. I can also say that I took more away
from this book than any other that I have read in my other English classes.
My
opinion on the novel would no be the same without the discussions held in
class. At first, I did not fully understand what Dostoyevsky was trying to
convey in all his contradictions and rants. It was confusing looking at the
book at a whole. However, when we sat down and began dissecting the different
passages of the book, I noticed things and interpreted the information that he
presented more clearly. The discussions helped me appreciate what Dostoyevsky
was trying to say because instead of rushing through the pages trying to
finish, we focused in on certain topics. Then with the topics we had group
discussions. I have always particularly liked group discussions because the
conversation flows and you hear insight from your other classmates. The
discussions we had really resonated within me, as I would find myself still
thinking about what we spoke about even after the bell rang. The depth and meaning
behind everything was hard to push out of my mind as I moved onto my other
classes. And I didn’t mind it either because I like thinking about these sorts
of things.
A
few things I will remember in particular about NFTU. The first is the idea of
“The Wall” and the constant reconstruction of these boundaries. Before the
discussion I had always thought religion was kind of just a way for us to
comfort ourselves about why things happen and the afterlife. But after
discussing religion and science, I find myself no longer believing in God and
not completely embracing evolution, but sitting in the middle of our existence.
I also enjoyed the exercise about space because it truly mind-f*cked me after realizing
that space is immeasurable and indeed infinite. I can’t say that the
Underground man has completely changed my life and from now on I will always
see both sides to everything. However, Dostoyevsky has opened my eyes to a new
perspective and wrote down some of the things I have always thought about just
never had the opportunity to truly discuss. I can say that I will take details
from this experience and try to apply and reference it in the future, which hopefully
will help me understand myself more and live a happier life in the moment (trying
not to obsess over point B).
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