Fourth Reaction

I really liked the last portion of Notes from the underground , especially where the narrator dreams. It appears that despite all the self-loathing , the underground man yearns to be somebody big, to be a man of action.  The underground man has said several times in the story that he does not really care what others think but It becomes pretty obvious that he does. The fact that his old school friends barely greet him upon arrival has the underground man feeling very anxious and he concludes that they despised him in school and therefore they must still despise him. The narrator mentions that the first thing he did before he left school was cut off all ties to his past ; Immediately after , he goes "trudging off to Simonov's". This contradiction is just another quirk in the mans thoughts and actions which, albeit hard to understand , is interesting nonetheless. The underground man is human after all and it seems he just wants to be accepted by his old school-friends.